Exploring lesbian sex: tips for the first time – HER

We most likely don’t have to advise you that we’ve grown up with cisheteronormative tactics of intercourse and relationship or that the sexual knowledge you have had up until this aspect ended up being merely unfit for objective. That being said, we think it really is quite amazing that you’ve managed to make it here!

It may seem like everybody else provides all of it determined, however in reality, we-all find guidance about intercourse. Exploring your own sex can seem to be challenging at first, but there’s another globe on opposite end, a magic carpeting drive and all. We’ve got you!

Browse up until the conclusion, and you will find just a little treat that will help you enhance your determination for the basic lesbian experience.

Get yourself ready for your first lesbian experience

First, accept that very first time carrying out anything defintely won’t be your absolute best, although that does not mean it will not be enjoyable. Make the stress off yourself, and it will surely be a good possible opportunity to explore the fantasies.

For that additional self-confidence boost, here are a few techniques to apply yourself:

Grab yourself during the state of mind.

Experiencing switched is just as a lot your own responsibility as it’s your lover’s. Most likely, the mind (yes, the brain) is the most intimate organ. Consider: whenever would i’m most fired up? Exactly what headspace perform I want to be in to feel in addition world?

Enjoy your very own human body.

Energy invested pleasuring on your own is important since you learn the thing that makes you tick, tock, quiver, orgasm, squirt…you get the gist!

Do tasks that make you are feeling relaxed and beautiful.

Just take a ripple tub, go the body to a few sexy tunes (can’t go wrong with King Princess, Ashnikko, or Rina Sawayama), and wear whatever allows you to feel gorgeous.

Trim your nails.

Be sure you add this your health schedule. You can utilize latex gloves for added defense.

The intimate explorer’s swindle sheet

  1. Spoken consent is important, constantly.

    It’s also incredibly charming for confirmation that your emotions are reciprocated. Consent can be eliminated any kind of time point, by you or your partner, for any reason that seems legitimate for your requirements or all of them.

  1. There’s no “right get older” to experiment.

    You’re not “late into celebration” – you are in which you’re allowed to be at this moment at some point. Accept and savor it!

  1. The recipe for fantastic sex…well, it’s yours to write!

    There is not a fixed secret or a one-size-fits-all method. Go ahead and, just take advice from all of us and other people in lifetime, but determine what works for you.
  1. It is well worth pointing out that

    never assume all females have actually vulvas, rather than all people with vulvas select as women

    . We recognize your concept of lesbian intercourse can thus vary, and wish you will nonetheless discover these pointers of good use.

  1. We urge everybody else to take part in safe gender

    : usage safety to get examined on a regular basis.

Approaches for a greater-than-average lesbian novice experience

It really is very first time, thus keep it easy. About interaction, 5 key points are:

  • Share what you each take pleasure in in bed, so that you can please one another.
  • Definitely discuss things that may be from the rut, and get your spouse to complete equivalent.
  • During intercourse, voice how you’re feeling – confidence are incredibly hot!
  • Communication can also be non-verbal, e.g. a tremble or groan. Attempt to listen to exactly how your spouse responds to stimulation.
  • For motivation, just be sure to reciprocate exactly what the other individual is doing.


Start with lightweight making out with the upper thighs and around the vulva. Whenever including tongue, start out with the tip associated with tongue and slowly increase power. Often, the tip in the tongue can be somewhat too intensive for your partner. Try using the flat of your tongue in an up-down, or side-to-side motion as well- observe each other reacts and do not be afraid to inquire about for tips.


Start with one little finger (usually your middle thumb) and have your partner before incorporating a lot more. Should you want to add another, make use of your ring finger. Try the “come hither” method, but remember it doesn’t benefit everyone and have your partner how they want to be fingered.

Stimulating the clit

Wait until the other person is actually transformed on/their clit is erect. Be gentle, it is very sensitive and you wanna handle it with care.

You can use your own finger, language, toys, dried out humping etc. Get imaginative, and look in with your partner for information.


Start comfortably! Some roles much better stored for later when you’re planning to climax.

When focusing on your lover, whether for oral stimulation,  fingering or others, ask them to sit on their as well as distribute their particular feet. This is exactly the, simple novices situation- and if you lean over your spouse to hug them, with this place, they may be able stimulate you too. Twice win!


is great enjoyable for associates, but at a place, you are likely to like to exchange while focusing on a single person each time. Take to resting on your lover’s face, and the other way around, and


– there’s reasons exactly why its a vintage.


Lube – don’t let dryness spoil your enjoyable. I encourage water-based lubricant, as it is less dangerous for genital play and silicone polymer toys.

Adult toys! Don’t feel pressured to make use of sex toys for the first WLW experience, you’ll prefer to keep things simple. If you decide to, there is an array of adult sex toys offered, including dildos, strap-ons, vibrators, clitorial massagers, butt plugs, rectal beads and!

Some can be used to suit your or your lover’s delight, and a few you can use with each other for shared enjoyable.

And finally – treat you to ultimately lesbian porno as you are able to feel good about!

Porn may be the brand new intercourse knowledge, and as much as free online pornography can produce unrealistic expectations about gender,

ethically and properly created porn

may bring you a lot of motivation and pleasure. Fortunately, lesbian porn has stopped being a genre created just for the male gaze.

Administrators like Erika Lust develop lesbian pornography

for any female gaze


Erika Lust is actually a mommy, a feminist, and an award-winning sensual filmmaker. The woman sex-positive sex cinema is actually a comprehensive and cinematic option to mass-produced mainstream porn.

In a global in which female sex is often ignored, the woman films celebrate a greater point of view that shifts from traditional pornography and alternatively values range, inclusivity, and a secure work place.

In 2019, she was named as the BBC 100 ladies’ most influential women of the season as well as in 2022, her alternative sight of pornography ended up being presented in
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Erika might important in promoting the advantages of the female look in adult cinema. As well as filmmaking, she has created a number of books, and her tale ended up being featured when you look at the Netflix documentary series ‘Hot babes Wanted: switched on (“ladies on Top”)’, directed by Rashida Jones, and ‘Principles of Pleasure’, directed by Niharika Desai.

Erika provides a powerful sound that stresses the need for

comprehensive and useful gender training

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This post was actually written in cooperation with all the Erika Lust team.